Listen and Learn
When I was in grade one my maternal Grandfather taught me how to spell “encyclopedia”. I was the only child in first grade who could spell such a long and impressive word, which I loved to spell over and over with pride at my young abilities!
That same year he also taught me how to recite the alphabet backwards. He used a nifty little rhyme which I’ve recently taught my step-children. Now that really impressed the other grade one kids!
Every holiday my older sisters and I would stay with our maternal grandparents for at least a week. We would read, garden, paint, dig, plant, clean, scrub, and help cook in the kitchen (as well as wash and wipe up the old fashioned way!). They were very involved in our lives and the only grandparents I ever had.
What impressed me about my Grandfather was that he had a wooden leg but it never stopped him from living a full life. Losing his leg in a terrible accident at four and enduring the horse and cart ride for 3 hours to reach a Doctor, was a defining moment in more ways than one.
People were cruel to a one-legged man, and naïve in their presumption that his first child would be born with only leg too! (Seriously!) He shrugged it off and held his head high. He was a gentle and proud man, yet he was determined and capable, and filled with dignity.
He would drive us around the Sunshine Coast beaches, talking about the rocks and caves and stories of old. My Grandmother would walk us from beach to beach and my Grandfather would meet us at the end with Have-A-Heart ice creams for everyone!
He was so generous with his time and his money – he would sneak us $5 notes when our Grandmother wasn’t watching!
They would take us on long drives through the Glass House Mountains, visiting other “old” people, where we learnt about the mountains and the way things used to be.
One old friend still lived in a barely standing shack, smaller than our double garage – smaller even than our generous bedroom. He still used an old outhouse and cooked in a billy can.
No matter who we met or visited with my Grandparents, they always each had a story to share. And even if we pretended not to listen or be interested, we really did absorb the messages within.
He had so many interesting stories to share like climbing Mt Tibrogargan – a towering image of King Kong as we called him, right in the midst of the Glass House Mountains. I would create images of his feat with only one working leg. This really hit home when I attempted to climb it myself – whoah, a bit too steep! How did he do it….
My Grandfather once gave me a book on Aikido Ki. Even with his disability he studied the art and became proficient. He learnt to protect himself even with one wooden leg.
He was the person who first introduced me to the tasty combination of banana and toast on honey. Banana and vegemite too. He even poached eggs in a hot saucepan of tinned spaghetti or baked beans, which the children now think is disgusting but at their age I came to love.
There is an increasing number of older people that have so much wisdom to share. Yet in our fast paced modern lifestyles we barely have time to look after ourselves, let alone sit with the elderly and take a moment to gain perspective.
They were once young and productive, busy and active.
Now they are old and often forgotten.
My Grandfather passed away from a blood clot two weeks before my twenty first birthday. The ambulance carried him away as I watched and several hours later we stood at his bedside to a cold body and a life well spent.
I never knew my paternal Grandfather, so I always listened when my Father would talk of him and reminisce. He was only 10 when his father passed away and the loss was a huge black hole in his life that contributed to choices, neither healthy or wise. Through sharing his memories with me he kept them alive, and I got to know a grandfather long since passed.
I also learnt about the ways of others, about grief and love, self-destruction and second chances. This information made me consider the choices that others had made, and influenced my own choices as I grew into adulthood.
I’ve learnt so many life lessons about the world, people and relationships, just by listening to those with much life wisdom to share.
The elderly were young once too; experiencing first love, heartbreak, success and failure just like the rest of us do.
They aren’t so different after all.
This week I ask you to give a little time to an older person in your life. They aren’t so different in their experiences of the world and they may just have a different perspective that shines a light on your own.
Be open. Receive. Be grateful. You never know what you’ll learn…
Viki xo
