I Remember, on Mother’s Day
Many of you who have met me in person know that I lost my Mother to Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma when I was 24. And even though nearly 16 years have passed, her influence on my life still permeates each and every day.
My mother was a most wonderfully warm woman, who never thought twice about helping anyone. She was generous and thoughtful, quick to laugh and smile, and she was always ready with a helping hand, and a soothing rock-me-gently cuddle.
One of her greatest disappointments was knowing she would not see her daughters mature into mothers, and her grand-children be born and grow up. In the end she only met one of the five, and he recently turned 18 – a whole childhood gone she never witnessed.
I think of my Mother often.
Sometimes with sadness, sometimes with affection, and always with love.
Even being so incredibly hard-working, selfless and obliging for others, she internalised her stress and it took away her health.
She didn’t value her own worth, she worried more what others thought, she did more for her family than she ever did for herself, and she kept her resentment and fears buried deep inside.
These were inherent traits of low self-worth and self-esteem, limited beliefs, old mental programming, unmanaged stress and emotions… all things I specialise in now, but that I didn’t understand or recognise then.
I learnt many things from my Mother – about the way of the world – but my biggest lesson was never to live a life of compromise… never to ignore your own needs or put yourself last; to never think well of others while only poorly of yourself.
In honouring what she taught me indirectly, I strive to live as true to myself and my message of every person, especially women, deserving a life of health, happiness and self-love first. I want to make every day count in ensuring everyone I meet fulfils that right for themselves before extending it to others.
Now as I approach forty in the role of being a step-mother, I am so grateful to have inherited her generous and nurturing heart for two children who are not of my own creation, yet who benefit from my positive love and guidance as they grow and discover the world for themselves.
But just as I see all too often in my practice, I often need reminding to step back and ask myself:
If you’re too busy taking care of others, who is taking care of you?
Thank you for the valued lesson Mum.
I miss you. I love you.
Viki xo
About Viki
Viki Thondley is a Mind-Body Wellness Specialist and qualified Holistic Counsellor, Food, Stress & Lifestyle Coach, Meditation Therapist, and Eating Disorder Recovery Coach who inspires women to shift from dieting and restriction to whole-self nourishment, self-care and healing. Recovered from bulimia nervosa and the many years of hormonal imbalances, food prison and self-sabotaging behaviours’, Viki is an inspiring coach, speaker and event host who also provides personalised holistic programs, workshops and retreats to instil self-love, happiness, body confidence and real food freedom. She is author of “Achieving Your Wellness: Create a Life You Love” and “Healthy Chocolate Delights: Real Food Sweet Treats”.
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